Its times like these when i feel like nothing is ever going to change, things will never get better and I'm going to be trapped in the state I'm in forever! But then in the back of my mind there is that little voice telling me things will be alright, I will make it through and to just take things a step at a time and its a constant struggle between good and bad. You would think i was in one of those cartoons when the person has a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other shoulder bickering back and forth.
I've been struggling again for awhile now... Things are just not going the way I have ever planned them to go. I had been fine for months, about 9 months to be exact of no anxiety, happiness and just well, being me! Its crazy how one thing can happen or even things you have stored away for so long come flooding back and screw everything up again. I was taking big leaps forward and now I've taken giant leaps back to where i started and don't want to be.
Now, I know some of you might think well why don't you just 'Suck it up' or 'Fight through the feelings' but until you have actually felt what i feel and know what i go through on a day to day basis I think you would change your mind pretty quick to just 'Suck it up.'
I find myself saying and thinking a lot..."Why can't i just be Normal!" but really What is 'Normal' is there really such a thing?
I am going to be working on getting back to being Me again! The Me I want to be! The Me i know i can be! It might take awhile but I am going to try my hardest to do it.
I Believe In Myself! I Believe In Myself! I Believe In Myself!