Boring Day

Today was a pretty boring day...I woke up at 10am to my phone buzzing beside me and was pretty annoyed! My Mom was calling me because she forgot to grab a needle for her shot that she now has to take for her blood sugar. The only way for me to get her the needle was to walk! Do you know how cold it is out there?! Do you?! Our high for today was 36 degrees can you say EWW?! Lucky no snow yet but i do believe its coming...and very soon!
So i bundled up, put on Jeans, Tshirt, a Hoodie, my New cute hat and my Boots just cause they are cute and i wanted to wear them haha! plus put on my coat! Picture me as the little brother in 'A Christmas Story'. Not really but i was ready to head out.
Its only about a 5-10 minute walk from my house and when i got to the store and up to the counter where my Mom was her boss looked at me and said "Did you just walk here?" lol DUH!!
So, i stayed down and talked with Mom for awhile and i had some breakfast (mmmm blueberry muffin!) and thawed out before i was going to have to make the walk back home...Uphill might i add! But lucky me!! One of my Mom's co-workers took me home!
Now, i've been home, finished filling out my Christmas cards (only needs stamps), put in a load of laundry. Pretty good day if you ask me!

I hope you all had a wonderful day too! Hopefully tomorrow is a little more productive...might start cleaning out my room AHHHHHHH!

Love and Tackle Hugs,
xoxoLindsay

Awakening

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” -Maria Robinson

I think this quote really says a lot about me and how i have been feeling. I have again been struggling with my anxiety and for a long time I wish i could just start over with a new beginning and everything just be okay, but i know that is not possibly so i have to take it one day at a time and know that i can make it through and come out just fine!
A major thing i have become aware of is that I need to take care of me and not put others problems and worries before my own. This is a hard hard thing for me to do because for the longest time that's all i have done and i think that is a reason why my anxiety has gotten so out of hand. I hide my own feelings away to help others when all that is doing is hurting me more.
I have recently been going to see a counselor which has been helping me tremendously in figuring all this out. I have only went for 3 sessions so far and the last time i was there she was so shocked at how well i have progressed! She told me "I noticed you seemed happier just when i came out and got you from the waiting room"
I told her that I just know what i need to do and i've decided i can't put it off any longer that i just really want to be happy again! Its been so long since i have been truly happy but i think i am on my way to recovery and finding that happy place again.
I know its not going to happen over night and its going to take some time but I think im now in the right mind set and ready for the work its going to take to make it happen.


I would never get through this if it wasn't for my family and friends and i just want to take a minute and thank you all for everything you have done! Even if it is just to listen or a shoulder to cry on i really really appreciate everything! You are all in my heart always and i am very blessed to have you.

Love and Tackle hugs to all
xoxoLindsay

Much Better Day

Today was a much better day.

-Slept in til about 11 i was so drained!
-Ate Chips for Breakfast (lol)
-Went with Sarah to the festival this afternoon...its the last day and she wanted to play a few games...I won her a stuffed penguin and i won a goldfish but ended up giving it to a little kid on the way out :)
-Came home and me and mom went shopping for a few things for me for my trip...i got a shirt and a skirt wOOt
-Dad made dinner..Grilled a Roast and Corn on the Cob, also had baked beans and Parmesan Noodles...YUM

Now i am stuffed and laying in bed

I hope everyone else had a good day too :)

5-30-09

Today has not been my day at all

First of all i woke up this morning and right away just felt like crying and did all my anxiety has just built up and built up and today had to be the day that i couldn't stop crying and it was my sisters graduation. I didn't end up going and i think she is mad at me. All i can say is that if it would have been the other way around i would understand but i guess thats what makes us different. When they all got home she didn't speak to me or anything.
So, while everyone was gone i cried more, i had a panic attack and was hyperventilating to the point my face almost felt numb. My mom told me that she wanted me to get out and get some sun so i went out and sat on the deck for awhile but as i got up to come in wouldn't you know i somehow broke a chair! I had leaned my knee on it and my knee went right through! If i wasn't so upset i probably would have laughed. I then went and sat on the front porch and rocked in the rocking chair and just tried to relax.

A little earlier my mom, dad, cousin kellie, her husband and two kids came over and we ended up down at the community days festival in our town. There were lots of people all over and that kinda made me more anxious but i did get a funnel cake and lemonade so that was a plus. We are home now and i have a killer headache but i wanted to drop by and update this again.

I hope everyone is having a good night

Why?

Why do i let myself get upset over something that happens to someone else? Can anyone tell me? What a day is all i can say... UGH

Seven, Seven, SEVEN !

Here is whats been going on :

1. Graduated from College- I am now am the owner of a shiny new Associates Degree! Well, I still have some stuff to take care of with the school so i don't actually have my degree yet but i will!

2. Broke up with Boyfriend who cheated on me- I found out some stuff about him and looks like when he was not with me he was bringing his Ex to his apartment...pffffft all i can say is i hope they are happy together.

3. Going on a trip to Illinois in 8 days to see Lisa Williams for the 2nd and 3rd time- I cannot wait for this trip it will be the first trip i ever took without my family PEACE OUT!

4. I want to start doing Reiki- I love helping people and i think this is the perfect step in achieving that.

5. My anxiety has came back a lot and im working on keeping it in check. Doing better but i still have my moments.

6. I cleaned my room out and got rid of some stuff but its still messy lol i have tooooo much crap!

7. Was hired for my first job by my Aunt who is starting up a company and i made her Logo, Buisness Card, Letterhead and Envelope. It was a lot of fun to do and im almost finished just a few things to fix up.

I have really sucked at keeping up with posting here but maybe just maybe i can get back into the swing of things.

Anxiety Blah!

Today i am having an anxiety filled day...i hate that it just comes out of no where!

:(