I think im going to try and write in here now everyday if i can.
I know if i don't get out what im feeling i will end up having a break down which i have done too many times. Its just hard for me to let me feelings out because i have always kept them in. I know thats bad to do and been told by many to just feel what i feel... but it makes me feel like im complaining and bugging people.
Im still not sure how i feel exactly about the whole Calvin thing. Its still just a shock that he's gone. I almost cried today in the car with Sarah but she looked at me like "Don't do it don't do it" Just because she was driving and I don't think driving and crying would have been a good combo, So again i kept it in.
Living at home has been driving me crazy! One day things are fine the next people could be mean and that up and down everyday drives me nuts. They always wonder why i stay cooped up in my room all the time...well maybe if everyone wasn't so fucking crazy i would come down with everyone once in awhile. I never thought I would say this but I miss Pittsburgh, well really I just miss my apartment. Living by myself was the best....i didn't have to worry about anyone else and could do what i wanted. I forgot how hectic and annoying it was to live with four other people again.
Im done complaining now and will be back tomorrow...lets hope things get a little better