Saturday, May 30, 2009

5-30-09

Today has not been my day at all

First of all i woke up this morning and right away just felt like crying and did all my anxiety has just built up and built up and today had to be the day that i couldn't stop crying and it was my sisters graduation. I didn't end up going and i think she is mad at me. All i can say is that if it would have been the other way around i would understand but i guess thats what makes us different. When they all got home she didn't speak to me or anything.
So, while everyone was gone i cried more, i had a panic attack and was hyperventilating to the point my face almost felt numb. My mom told me that she wanted me to get out and get some sun so i went out and sat on the deck for awhile but as i got up to come in wouldn't you know i somehow broke a chair! I had leaned my knee on it and my knee went right through! If i wasn't so upset i probably would have laughed. I then went and sat on the front porch and rocked in the rocking chair and just tried to relax.

A little earlier my mom, dad, cousin kellie, her husband and two kids came over and we ended up down at the community days festival in our town. There were lots of people all over and that kinda made me more anxious but i did get a funnel cake and lemonade so that was a plus. We are home now and i have a killer headache but i wanted to drop by and update this again.

I hope everyone is having a good night

3 comments:

Kaz said...

Hey babe!

I am sorry you have had such a rough day.

Your sister will definitely get over you missing her graduation, give her some time and things will be okay.

I have forgotten what all you are taking for your anxiety...maybe you should ask about Ativan?

Lindsay said...

Hey Kazzy

I hope she gets over it. :(

Im only taking one med for everything right now but im thinking about asking the doc if maybe i can have my prescription back for my other anxiety med. I had stopped taking it when I was in Pittsburgh cause my anxiety had let up so much i didn't need it but im back in full force anxiety again. blech!

Love ya

Kate said...

Hey LFG, so sorry to hear about this awful day. Kaz is right - you're sis will get over it. Have you ever tried talk therapy? Combined with meds or even on it's own, it can be very effective. Feel better.