Bored

A few of my favorite Quotes

"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
~Elbert Hubbard

"There are two ways to handle a women, and nobody knows either of them."
~Kin Hubbard

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society."
~Mark Twain

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
~Groucho Marx

"My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out to the lake and threw her off the boat. I said "They weren't trying to teach you how to swim."
~Paula Poundstone

"The formula for water is H2O is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?"
~Lily Tomlin

"I want my childred to have all the things i couldn't afford. Then i want to move in with them."
~Phillis Diller

"I am not a glutton- I am an explorer of food."
Erma Bombeck

"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
~George Carlin

and finally

"Before you criticize someone. You should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes." -Frieda Norris